I Have Always Loved You
by Sirius Black Luver
Summary: AU: Roger is dying and confesses something to Mark that's not expected. MarkRoger. One shot. Told from Mark's POV.


Disclaimer – don't own RENT. Nuff said.

**_Italics _**are thoughts and song lyrics.

A/N: I got this story idea when I was reading a bunch of RENT fics a couple days ago. This story's gonna have angst, drama and some romance.

A/N 2: the date in this story is my birthday, just thought all of you should know.

Summary: AU: Roger's dying and he confesses something to Mark that wasn't expected. Mark/Roger. One shot. Told from Mark's POV.

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Drama

**I Have Always Loved You  
**By Sirius Black Luver

"He wants to see you, Mark." Maureen told me. I looked up at her and nodded. She pointed me in the direction of his room. I nodded and thanked her, not really wanting to go, but I had to – for Roger. My best friend and roommate since the beginning of time.

"September 1st, 1999 one PM Eastern Standard Time. My best friend is dying." I narrated to myself. _That was stupid Cohen _I told myself as I entered his hospital room. Ever since Collins died in the winter of last year, hospitals have sort of scared me.

"M-Mark? Is that you?" Roger croaked. I nodded and walked towards him, tears streaming down my cheeks. I sat down upon the squishy orange chair that was near his bed and took a hold of his hand. It was clammy, but I didn't care. He was hooked up to all sorts of monitors that were beeping, buzzing and whirring.

"Yeah, it's me, man. How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I could be better, I could be worse." He answered. _He looks so pale _I noted, avoiding Roger's green eyes.

"Maureen said you wanted to see me." I told him, scooting the chair closer to his bed. He nodded and sat up, struggling. I leaned over to help him and accidentally touched one of his fever spots, but he didn't seem to mind.

"The reason why I wanted to see you, Mark, is because-" I looked over at his blood pressure monitor – it was steadily dropping. I didn't want to say anything, just in case he already knew and was trying to say that.

"You can tell me anything, Rog." I told him, patting his hand and wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the washcloth that was on the bedside table.

"Before I met Mimi and April…" He started, speaking just above a whisper so I had to lean over him as he talked.

"What is it, Rog?" I inquired; he weakly put a hand over my mouth – something he's never done before.

"Before I met Mimi and April, I-" he was getting weaker by the minute. I looked over at his blood pressure monitor – it was still dropping, only a little faster. I let out a sob and removed Roger's hand from my mouth and held it tightly.

"I have always love-" he took in a deep breath, one of his last. I felt tears run down my cheeks as I continued to hold Roger's hand.

"I have always loved you, Mar-" his voice trailed off.

"Roger?" I asked, not knowing if he was alive or dead. I looked over at the heart monitor – it was still beeping regularly, so he couldn't be dead yet.

"_I should tell you_

_I should tell you_

_I have always loved you_…" Roger sang just above a whisper. My jaw dropped to the ground – I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Why wait until now to tell me?" I asked.

"It seemed like the perfect moment." He answered, tears in his eyes.

"What's so perfect about it?" I inquired, climbing onto the hospital bed so that I was sitting behind him. He rested his head in my lap and mumbled something I couldn't understand.

"Rog, English please." I told him, running a hand through his blond hair.

"I said that ever since Mimi died, I've been lonely and you've been lonely…" his voice was starting to trail off again. I was scared – fucking scared. I didn't know what was gonna happen to me after he died.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

He was gone. His limp body was in my arms and I was crying my eyes out. I heard voices and footsteps come running inside the room and felt a pair of arms hug me – either Maureen or Joanne. They then cried with each other, pulling the other one closer, crying into the other's shoulder, receiving comforting words.

"September 1st, 1999 three PM Eastern Standard Time – my best friend's dead." I narrated sadly. I felt Joanne lean over and hug me, telling me everything would be okay. I didn't know what to think – my best friend had told me he loved me.

As the three of us walked out of the hospital room, I quickly turned around and walked back over to Roger's still form. I leaned over, kissed his cheek and whispered, "I love you, too" in his ear.

_The tears dry, without you  
__Life goes on, but I'm gone  
_'_Cause I die without you_


End file.
